I never thought I would get here, and am amazed at how much your mindset can change in 9 short months. Lord willing, we will be having a homebirth - and, now that I am officially at 36 weeks today, it will only not happen if there is an emergency.

   Before getting pregnant and perhaps a few months in, I would have said that homebirth was a crazy idea, much too risky for a nice sentiment. I was learning more though, and beginning to see that in a hospital setting (or in a typical OB's mind) birth and pregnancy is an emergency requiring professional medical help, or viewed from a pathological perspective instead of a healthful one. At the same time, I was personally coming to understand it much more as a natural, normal process our bodies are designed perfectly to carry out, and which can be done best (and most safely) without intervention.

   I was still a little hesitant, but as soon as we made the decision to move back to the US I asked Joel about it, and was surprised that he so readily said yes. That was reassuring to me and I got a lot more excited and enthusiastic about it. I started emailing midwives within a 2-hour radius of our area, and it seemed like no one would be available since I was coming so late in pregnancy! Finally, my favorite (as far as I could tell by her website) was the only one out of 20-something midwives to be available. I met her just after Christmas, at 33 weeks pregnant.

   While we do need hospitals and obstetricions, C-sections and other interventions, I believe they should be the exception and for high-risk and emergency situations, not for a healthy, typical birth. By this time I would be very disappointed and nervous if I had to give birth in a hospital setting. In Dubai I did have the best opportunity possible I think, with a doctor who was open to laboring how you wanted and was not set on being involved, and the support of a wonderful doula. But both knowing what is possible and typical today with hurried schedules and routine procedures, and knowing what a woman's body is capable of in the right circumstances, I would feel it was unnecessary and stressful to be in a hospital, and would feel constantly on guard. (That is not to say that there aren't wonderful OBs and hospital midwives, or that you can't get away from a hospital with a natural birth!)
    What bothers me is the lack of women educating themselves about birth. Instead, culture tells us to fear it, to only trust a doctor to handle it, and that our bodies don't work properly without lots of help. We also don't hear the risks associated with all of those interventions.
    
     Joel and have already come to completely trust and love Charlene. She is a warm, loving, and incredibly knowledgeable midwife, and has been amazingly thorough and careful in searching out some issues we've faced, in order to make sure everything is safe for me and baby. We like her assistants too, and the midwife who will likely accompany her to our birth since both her assistants are pregnant :)

    In Dubai I had wonderful advice from several women, encouraging me to not set my heart on any one type of birth or how I hoped to handle it. I could see myself aiming to go without an epidural, then giving in and feeling horribly disappointed in myself afterward when I should be joyful. What those ladies told me was true, and I could still be prone to that. What matters is that we have a healthy baby (and even that is up to God's perfect will for us), not that I get the beautiful home birth experience I want. What does really matter to me is that everything possible is explored and done before intervening in the natural way of things (or not having an 'unnecesarean' because my doctor wants to go home), and I have come to see that the best option for that, for us, is birthing with a midwife.

   The statistics of safety in favor of homebirth and midwifery are astounding, and it's been a fascinating journey of learning about these things. I'm also learning that however passionate I become about these things, the same choices may simply not be right (or safe) for some people, and it will not be my job to convince a friend that they're about to have a horrible experience or that their choice is statistically more dangerous! (But I do expect all women to learn all they can about the birthing process!) Without C-sections, our dearest friends in Dubai would not have the 7 beautiful children that they do. I'm thankful for those things.

   If you're interested in childbirth, pregnancy, or midwifery at all, I highly recommend watching The Business of Being Born and reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Both with discretion - think as you're watching and reading, but there is really valuable stuff in there!

  By the way, Joel's grandparents are amazing - not only are we living with them, but literally having a baby in their house!

 I hope all of this made sense, and that you understand where I'm coming from (not intending to bash anyone's choices or experiences, and having gone through nothing yet myself!). We are so excited about this opportunity we didn't expect, but mostly just to meet little lady Kady!